Author: Dan Blank

It’s easy to look at other writers, artists, and creators online and conclude:

• “It’s so easy for everyone else to create, why is it difficult for me?”
• “When other people create, it looks so… creative. They have a cool space to work in, they seem to have all the right supplies, they even dress like I dream a writer (or artist) would.”
• “These people are all surrounded by those who support their creative work.”
• “Everything they do seems to work out. I’m here floundering, and everyone knows it.”
• “When others share with authenticity, it is always instantly rewarded with validation via likes and comments. How come when I share, it falls flat. What am I doing wrong?”
• “These people seem to have so much time to create and share. But I have so many responsibilities, my life is so much busier than theirs.”

If others make creating and sharing look easy, I can assure you, it isn’t.

Comparisonitis is when you see what others are doing in your field — even if you are inspired by them — and you start judging your own work or efforts harshly against what the other person is doing.

Where we see this most commonly is social media. Let’s say a writer is active on Instagram and decides to post something about how they found time to work on their novel this morning. It’s not uncommon for something like this to happen next:

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“I’m so proud of myself for writing, even though I had to drive both kids to school, my tax paperwork is waiting for me, and the plumber is supposed to show up any minute to fix the shower. I’m going to take a selfie, then open up Instagram to share it…”

“Ohhh, here is a post by one of my favorite writers, she’s so inspiring. Let me click ‘like’ on that. I just want to check Stories for a minute, I don’t want to miss anything…Wow — that author just had her book featured on that huge podcast!”

“Oh, that author I met at a conference last year is in Paris right now on a writing retreat. OMG, my favorite author is there too!”

“This other writer I like just posted that she wrote today too! Woah, look at how amazing her living room looks.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t post today. My photo is mediocre at best, and who am I to shout about writing 500 words when these other writers are doing such amazing things.”

(Closes Instagram)

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I help writers and creators share their work in a manner that truly engages readers. Today I want to discuss how you can move past comparisonitis to feel fulfilled in how you share your unique creative voice. I also want to embrace the idea that struggling can be a normal part of the creative process.

Let’s dig in…

My Biggest Fear for Writers

This is my biggest fear for writers and artists: that you don’t create. That you don’t write. That your unique creative voice is lowered, even silenced. In the process, you stop sharing. That there is this important part of you — your unique creative voice — that has been snuffed out, and remains hidden from others.

The internet has done amazing things to give us access to information and connect with others. But I have found that comparisonitis is a huge problem for many writers and creators. Where the lens you have into people’s creative lives can sometimes make you feel badly about your own.

There is so much being shared online nowadays, my concern is that this puts us in a constant mode of reaction. We get triggered in negative ways, and even triggered in positive ways, both of which take us off track. What suffers is our own creative work, and ability to share.

Success in Creative Work is Not Easy

My days are spent working behind-the-scenes with writers, helping them to get clarity on their mission and messaging, develop their platforms, identify their readers, share their work in meaningful ways, and launch their books. I love seeing the reality of the creative process, and how deeply entwined it is with our psychological and emotional realities. That is why I call my methodology Human-Centered Marketing.

I spend a truly ridiculous amount of time watching behind-the-scenes documentaries about how creative work (books, films, music, etc) is made, and listening to long form interviews with artists and creators. What I find again and again is that the path to success is full of uncertainty and struggle.

When we accept that it is a normal part of the process, I find it becomes easier to create and share. In the process, one may realize that their very real challenges are not unlike challenges that their creative heroes have had to move through. And that others out there today who are creating, have their own unseen barriers they are trying to move past.

When I study creative success, I hear stories of how delicate and unlikely one’s success was. That so many things had to go exactly right. Or how an abject failure was later turned into the key ingredient for later success.

I was just rewatching an hourlong documentary on the making of the TV show Seinfeld. It was one of the most successful TV shows of the 1990s, and it is incredible to hear the stories of how unlikely its success was, how often the network itself didn’t like or understand the show, and how many times it almost didn’t happen.

It’s so easy to look at others and say, “They are so talented, and they know so many influential people, of course their book (or Substack, or whatever) will succeed.” Yet we can be missing so much struggle behind the scenes.

Why don’t we feel comparisonitis for all the books that didn’t do well, all the scripts that were never made into movies, TV shows that didn’t get picked up, or albums that have a handful of streams on Spotify. That is the norm.

Behind every creator’s story — successful or otherwise — is usually a story of an arduous journey to get to that point.

Forge Deeper Connections

I grew up as an artist, and began taking art lessons at age 5. As I got older, my friends were creators and performers. My high school had a whole separate wing for a performing arts school, so I got to see behind the scenes of the drama, video, and dance programs. Of course, I married an amazing artist.

How can you follow others in your field and be supportive without triggering your own comparisonitis? To me, the secret is depth.

If you only “follow” people, keeping your colleagues at a distance, it is easy to assume that their lives are easier, that their work succeeds without struggle. I encourage you to actively develop professional relationships with other creators. Those where you can have real conversations and learn more about the totality of their creative process. Where you can talk honesty about the good parts, but also the challenges.

Find the balance between running your own race — creating what you want and sharing it however you want — and forging real relationships with those in your field.

Comparisonitis thrives on putting a thick glass wall between you and others. Where you can see what others are doing, but never get the full picture of their emotional and psychological journeys, or situations that happen behind-the-scenes that impact success.

Embrace Uncertainty

Comparisonitis can also be fueled by uncertainty. That you feel you don’t know exactly what you are doing, and are unsure if anything you try will work.

Instead of avoiding this, I encourage to embrace uncertainty.

Accepting this gives you so much more to share about. So many writers and artists don’t want to share until they have something “significant” to share: big news or an important milestone. But when you see the creative process as having a full range of experiences, that gives you sooooooo much more to share.

I often talk about how we share is a craft, just as much as how we create is. Why not share the entire range of emotions you feel, not just the positive ones? That you may be struggling, you may be uncertain, but here is how you are moving through it.

Years ago, I wrote about an interview with Ira Glass where he talked about how long it took him to bridge the gap between his taste — the aspirations he had for the quality of his work — and truly creating great work. This is what he said:

“All of us who do creative work get into it because you have good taste. There is stuff that you just love. But there is a gap, where for the first couple years you are making stuff, what you are making isn’t so good. It’s really not that great. It’s trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it’s not quite that good.”

“But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, your taste is still killer. And your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you’re making is kind of a disappointment to you, like you can tell it is still sort of crappy. A lot of people never get past that phase, a lot of people at that point, they quit.”

“The thing I would say to you with all my heart is that most everybody I know who does interesting creative work, they went through a phase of years where they had really good taste, but they could tell that what they were making wasn’t as good as they wanted it to be, it fell short. It didn’t have that special thing we wanted it to have. Everybody goes through that, and if you are going through it right now, you got to know that it’s totally normal, and the most important thing you can possibly do, is to do a lot of work, do a huge volume of work. Put yourself on a deadline.”

“It’s only by going through a volume of work that you are going to actually catch up and close that gap, and the work you are making will be as good as your ambitions.”

That interview was recorded before social media truly took over our culture, where we could see the inner lives of so many people on a whim.

Your Voice Matters

To confront impostor syndrome, comparisonitis, and other inner fears, so often we choose to hide. We share in the safest most expected ways. We mimic what others do and hope that it magically fits in so we don’t take a risk, but also stands out so people pay attention. It’s an impossible balance to find.

But what if each day you celebrated your unique creative voice, and shared with honesty about your creative vision, your process, and even your uncertainty. So many people have said versions of this, but I especially like Judy Garland’s quote:

“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else.”

Please let me know in the comments: what stops you from feeling comfortable in sharing?

For my paid subscribers this week, I shared Mini-Case Study on Following Trends vs Having a Clear Mission. See a preview here.

Reminder: if you want to explore working with me, there are two ways I collaborate with writers and creators:

• One-on-one consulting
• My Creative Shift Mastermind, whose doors open up again in April

As always, thank you for being here with me.
-Dan

The other day, our kitchen sink clogged. It happened late in the day on a Saturday, and I immediately knew that most plumbers in the area generally work half day on Saturday and take off Sunday. Not great timing for a clog.

I thought I had prepared for this type of situation. I love plumbing, and had three different drain cleaning machines on hand, and a cursory knowledge of how to use them. But I soon found out: I was wrong. So instead, I paid $714 for emergency sink unclogging a couple hours later.

This has me reflecting on how writers and creators need to prepare to reach their readers differently than they might think. To not wait until you absolutely need to share and reach people before order to do so, such as right before a book launch.

So often, we collect the tools we need (“I setup a Bluesky account!”), or we collect the strategies we think will work (“I downloaded a worksheet on how to pitch podcasts”), but we miss the most important ingredients: practice. To test out strategies and tools, try new ideas and iterate on them, and move past the emotional and psychological barriers to sharing our work.

Today I want to explore how to develop those muscles so that you can share your work when it matters most: a book launch, publishing a newsletter, a dream pitch, or that time you happen to be in an elevator with your first choice for a literary agent. Let’s dig in…

Emotional and Psychological Preparation

It’s one thing to have a plan, and something else entirely to have tested the plan, running drills, uncovering the unexpected ways that you and others respond in the situation.

An example of this is a case study of a bestselling author that I shared 14 years ago. You can read the full version here, but these are the basics:

• Eric Ries set a specific goal to become a bestselling author.
• He took the entire year prior to his book launch off from his consulting firm, spending that year testing ideas for what would sell books.
• The only form of payment he would accept that year is book orders.
• He tested his marketing ideas prior to book launch, through promotions and events with real people.
• He was surprised at the results, and if he had relied on these ideas at launch, he likely would not have become a bestseller.
• In the process, Eric — a highly successful guy already — had to challenge his own assumptions, and accept that some of his “best” ideas simply didn’t work as he hoped. So he kept trying new things until he found what worked for his book at that time.

Too often, we justify that the ideas and plans alone can lead to success. If we just LOGIC this enough, it will work. It’s easy to feel that a good logical plan is enough. Here are some examples::

• “Oh, I’m preparing this incredible promotion that I think #bookstagrammers are going to love. I saw another writer do this and it worked so well.”
• “My podcast pitch to get me as a guest on shows is A-MAZ-ING. My friend is a podcaster and she loves it.”
• “I grew up with _____ who is an influencer, he has a huge following. He said he would support my book launch.”

But in the process, people tend to avoid preparing for the most difficult aspects of this work: emotional and psychological reactions from themselves, and their intended audiences.

Now, I love it when people plan a good cohesive strategy, and I spend my days helping writers do this. But we also go a step further into taking small cycles of action, learning from experience, and honing our strategies again and again based on real world results.

Without testing, you are unsure of what will work. I have talked to countless writers whose biggest strategic plans flopped, leaving them bereft, confused, and jaded.

For many writers and creators, the important thing to prepare for is social fear. I wrote about this in my book, Be the Gateway, that often the biggest barrier to success in sharing is our own innate fear of social situations. This can appear in a wide number of ways, including:

1. Fear of looking like a fool, so we don’t test anything before hand. Then, when we need people the most (like during a book launch), we take the smallest possible action so that if it doesn’t work, we save face.
2. Waiting too long to start. We justify this as “not putting the cart before the horse,” or trying to optimize people’s attention into a tiny window of time around book launch. E.G.: “Why share about my book now? It’s not even on sale for a couple weeks.” But that also creates an inordinate amount of pressure to get it right in one precise moment.
3. Communicating too infrequently, and asking too much at once. Often this is justified as, “Well, I don’t want to bug people or look desperate, so I will send one email to my friends and network, and tell them exactly what to do.” The result is an overly long email, with too many asks all at once, and zero follow up. A writer in that situation may get tons of responses where people say, “Congratulations on your book!” but they take no other actions that the author requested.
4. Starting every effort to share with an apology. This often looks like, “So this is the email I’m supposed to send asking you to pre-order my book, so here I am, begging you. Sorry, but that’s the publishing game!” Here, one frames the idea of communicating only because you were told you have to in order to serve the book, that it is a dreaded obligation.
5. Stopping way too soon. The moment one item doesn’t take off in a viral way, we feel embarrassed, and start sharing less, not more. We start justifying, “Word-of-mouth marketing is the only thing that works, and I’m not going to shout about my book, so if it was meant to be, it will just happen on its own.” So many writers share about their book only in the few weeks around launch, then abandon their efforts entirely.
6. Concluding that your one big idea or connection is enough. That this single plan is your big shot, and if that doesn’t work, then why bother with piddly other plans that feel like small potatoes (and also like a lot of work.)

The Problem of Knowledge Without Practice

In my plumbing story above, the thing is, I was so close to success with my effort to clear the drain, but didn’t know it. On the day of the clog, I knew how to undo the pipes under the sink and use the drain cleaning machine I had. But I sent it in and out of the pipe a few times, but I didn’t fix it.

Knowing that the later it got in the day, the less likely I could get anyone to come help before Monday, I panicked. I stopped trying to unclog it and got on the phone.

I called 4 plumbers, including 2 that I have good relationships with. None picked up. I called a 5th plumber who actually picked up, but he said he couldn’t help today, and told me to reach out to the big drain cleaning company in our area, giving me their number.

They answered, and she gave me two options: they can come first thing Monday morning, for around $400, or if I wanted to pay their “Saturday emergency service charge,” I would have to add an additional $300 to that, bringing it to around $700. She encouraged me to wait until Monday.

I was frozen. That was a lot of money to spend. I asked her if I could speak to the technician, which she graciously allowed me to do. He was super generous, and he too suggested I wait until Monday. Then he spent time telling me exactly what he would do, and in the process, mentioned how thoroughly he does the job, not just clearing the clog, but snaking the entire drain line to the sewer to ensure the broken up clog doesn’t clog again further down the line.

I told him to come over now, justifying:

1. Fix it once, fix it right.
2. $400 and $700 are both a lot of money. There is no cheap way out of this, so just get it done now, saving my family a day not being able to cook or do dishes.
3. I wanted to start our school and work weeks on Monday off right, not with zero clean dishes, and a clogged drain.
4. I told myself I would observe what the technician would do, and try to learn in the process.

Yes, I overthink things. Then I write essays about it! (I think that may be my new Substack tagline)

You see, I had bought the tools, but I didn’t have experience with them. I didn’t adequately prepare for the emotional and psychological aspects of having to clear a clog. This is why I encourage you to prepare more fully for what it means to share your writing and how to ensure it truly connects with readers.

Unexpected Consequences

Another reason to prepare is to become aware of unexpected consequences of sharing. You see, attention can be a double-edged sword. I want to provide two examples of this.

Recently I shared a case study on how a 7-Eleven employee grew an audience of 200,000 subscribers. He spent 12 years dreaming of doing well on YouTube, when a video of his went viral, and his audience expanded rapidly. However, the other day, he uploaded a video talking about how he was considering quitting making videos. Why? Because of the psychological and emotional issues of having people suddenly care about his videos.

He says, “I’m struggling to make videos, because everybody has an opinion.” He’s not just talking about strangers, but is specific about how members of his family suddenly are taking interest, people he hasn’t spoken to in years are reaching out, and every single one of them is sharing their opinion on what he is doing.

So often, we want our work to be seen, but are unprepared for the unexpected consequences when that moment that happens.

Another example are one hit wonders in the music world. How a musician may spend years working so hard to achieve their dreams of success, only to find that they were not prepared for the reality of it.

I remember hearing the story of how the band New Radicals had a huge hit in the 1990’s with “You Get What You Give.” The guy behind the band, Gregg Alexander, had pushed so hard for years to find success. But soon after he hit it big, he broke up the band, got out of his record deal, and canceled the release of his newest song and video — which shocked his record label. The work was already done on it.

As Wikipedia puts it: “It was not long after New Radicals’ success that Alexander became tired of the constant media attention and an exhausting touring schedule.”

Instead, he turned his attention to producing other bands, working behind the scenes. Now, this isn’t to assume his success was a misadventure. He has probably lived a deeply fulfilling life since that time, and has no regrets. But just imagine the years of efforts to achieve something, only to realize that it isn’t what you wanted after all.

What Preparing Looks Like

So how do we prepare? Well, this is how I am preparing for the next clogged drain:

• Before the plumber left on that Saturday, I showed him the machine I was using. He spent 10 minutes carefully explaining to me exactly what to do next time, and even made a modification to my machine so that it would be more effective. He said, “We love it when homeowners try to fix clogs themselves, so I’m happy to try to share some advice.”
• I have been watching dozens of videos on YouTube where plumbers show you how they unclog drains in various real-life situations.
• I created a step-by-step checklist for how to approach a clogged drain, and printing that out to put next to my tools in the basement.
• This is embarrassing, but for the largest and best drain cleaning machine I bought years ago, I had never actually taken it out of the box. So I did that, got it setup, and tested everything on it.
• I am clearing the area around our primary drain cleanout. Previously, I would have to move an entire shelf of my kids’ toys to access it, plus move a huge spare sink that we have down there. So even before I would try to clean the drain, I would have to make a huge mess to access the cleanout. No more.
• I am practicing. Actually going through the motions of using the machine, even if I don’t have a clog to clear. This helps identity simple problems that I can address now, when I’m not stressed.
• Storing the drain machine right next to the cleanout, and then putting a container next to it that has needed supplies such as gloves, accessories, checklist, bucket, towel, headlamp, extension cord, etc.

Our drain will clog again. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in 10 years. Regardless, addressing it will not require me to find the tools, move furniture, and have me trying to remember steps. Plus, I will sleep better knowing I am more prepared than I was before.

How do you prepare to share your writing and creative work before you really need to? As I’ve encouraged many times before, view sharing as a craft, a process that you can practice and slowly hone over time.

Let’s say you have a book launch coming up in 8 months. Perhaps you are planning to ask other authors for a blurb, or you want to pitch yourself on a podcast for the first time, or ask a friend to preorder or the book, or any number of items. Consider the emotional place you will be in if the very first time you do this is the moment you absolutely need these things to work.

How to prepare? Perform smaller less mission-critical versions of these tasks way before you need to be good at them. Then hone and repeat.

This is the time period where you can make mistakes and they won’t matter. When you can learn a valuable lesson and not feel it cost you anything. Where you can work through emotional and psychological angst.

Here is a simple example: let’s say that you plan to email each person in your network asking them to pre-order your book, and you want to do this 4-weeks before the book comes out. But right now, you are still 6-months away from launch. Why not send some of these people a “I was thinking of you” emails? It can be personal, it can be professional, it can be focused on their work or your own. But get used to reaching out to your network via email.

Besides this process helping you improve your communicate skills, wouldn’t it be nice if your network heard from you via email before they get an email that says, “Hi! Remember me? Well, I really need for you to spend $20 right now to buy my book.”

Or if you hope to pitch yourself on a few mid-sized podcasts that you love, why not pitch yourself to a smaller podcast first, or to a podcast that you won’t worry if you don’t get on. Just to work through the entire process before it truly matters to your book launch.

I’ve worked with thousands of writers in the past twenty years, and find that preparation is never going to be wasted effort or time. Those writers that I know who are especially good at how they share and engage with their readers tend to view how they share as a craft, one where they slowly improve over time by experimenting, learning, and showing up for their readers.

Please let me know in the comments: what scares you most about the idea of sharing?

For my paid subscribers this week, I shared Mini-Case Study on Lessons From Plumbers on Growing an Audience. Clearly, it’s “Plumbing Week” on my Substack. See a preview here.

Reminder: if you want to explore working with me, there are two ways I collaborate with writers and creators:

• One-on-one consulting
• My Creative Shift Mastermind, whose doors open up again in April

As always, thank you for being here with me.
-Dan

I have been thinking a lot about a single hour from 1969. What happened in this hour is a powerful lesson about what it means to share your work, and a huge mindset shift in how to think about developing an audience.

In December of 1969, the band ZZ Top played a show at the National Guard Armory in Alvin, Texas. Here is the short version of what happened:

• The curtain opened for them to start playing, and while they expected to see a half-full room, there was only one person in the audience.
• The guy turned to leave, and the band called to him asking him to stay.
• They played their entire set, an hour long.
• They took a break, called him over and bought him a Coke.
• They then played an encore. To one person.

What can we learn from this that you can apply to your platform as a writer, and how can this help you reframe what it means to share your work? Soooooooooo much.

Let’s break it down into why each of these 5 moments in the hour matters…

Moment #1: Why One Person Matters

Time and time again, I will ask a writer about their platform, and they will say something like, “Ugh, I only have 60 subscribers to my newsletter. It’s pathetic. Why even bother? I haven’t sent out a newsletter in a while, because what’s the point?”

One thing to consider here is that if you don’t learn how to engage one person, how can you develop the skills to engage 10, or 100, or 1,000, or 10,000? This is not just about counting numbers in the audience, it is about honing your ability to share as a craft, learning how your unique creative voice can truly reach your ideal readers.

Craft is often about taking practice and preparation very seriously. I grew up as an artist, I’m married to an amazing artist, and most of my friends over the years have been creators of some sort or another. When you see a beautiful painting that someone made, there is so much you don’t see: the 20 pages of sketches, the 3 false starts, the 2 other canvases they started and threw in the trash, the piles of paint and brushes they thought were the right choice, but weren’t.

For how you share, one person matters. Honestly, that is often how your work is read anyway. When I send out a newsletter, while it does go out to thousands of people, that isn’t the reality of how it is read. Each person receives it in their inbox, unaware of the other people. They see my name, they read the subject line, and their choice to read it is entirely up to them. When they do read it, if they relate to it, it is as if I wrote it entirely for them. There is no “audience” in this situation, where they are sitting next to 100 other people reading my newsletter at the same time. It is from me to one person.

It’s similar to reading a book — even if I know it is a bestseller, I am reading it alone. If I like it, it creates a powerful connection between the author’s intention, and how I experience it.

For that show in 1969, it was one of ZZ Top’s early shows. However, they weren’t exactly new musicians or unknown. Members of the band had played across Texas for years, and they had recently played on bills with Janis Joplin, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, and Grand Funk Railroad. I mean, these are legendary performers.

For this show in Alvin, Texas, while they hoped for a sellout crowd, they would have been happy if the venue was half full. But when the curtain opened and there was just one person in the audience, it was clearly a disappointment for the band.

Yet, they knew that every person matters. Their aspiration was to play music and improve as a band. This is not conditional — if one person is there, you play.

This is how they became world-class performers, playing thousands of shows from the 1960s to today. Yes, they are still on tour, scheduled to play dozens of shows in the US and Canada this year.

I don’t know the subtle combination of reasons that they chose to play for one person. Maybe they wanted to live up their agreement with the venue, or simply practice as a band, or most likely: have their music heard. You develop a following by playing show after show, converting one person to becoming a fan at a time.

Moment #2: Asking for That One Person to Stay

I mean, imagine this, not just playing to one person, but stopping them from leaving and encouraging them to stay. If you had spent weeks planning a book reading and you saw one person all the way in the back of the room, and then they turned to leave, would you chase after them? Would you then do the entire reading and Q&A with just that person? Would you pour them a drink and give them a cupcake? I know theoretically we all would say, “yes,” but in an actual social situation, I feel like many of us wouldn’t be that up front. We would justify, “He walked out because she must have been in the wrong place. Besides, I don’t want to have to drag people to see my event.”

So many writers and artists feel shame in asking for attention or asking for help. They don’t want to look like they are trying too hard because they justify that great art should just magically find an audience. The fact that ZZ Top asked this one guy to stay is a huge step that I don’t want to overlook. Asking is a part of the process, and it is not one that means you are a sellout or “a self-involved marketer” or “not a real artist.”

Asking is one way we connect with each other, and how people will be moved by what you create.

Moment #3: Playing the Entire Set

The band didn’t apologize by playing half a set, they went all the way, giving it a full performance as if 100 people had been there.

Don’t half bake how you share. Don’t give one person a lesser version of your creative vision because you feel the effort isn’t as valuable unless you reach a larger audience. This is another area where I feel like psychologically it’s easy to say, “Oh, of course Dan! I would give my all to each individual person.”

Yet I go back to that thing I mentioned earlier, with having “only 60 subscribers.” So many people stop sharing because they feel their audience is too small. They may feel embarrassed, or like failures, or that it’s a sign their voice doesn’t matter. They silence themselves. Yet, there are 60 people who are subscribed!

Again and again I have seen value in how getting good at engaging one person, helps you engage 10, then 20, them more. Every person counts, and each person deserves the best of what you have to offer.

Moment #4: Buying the Guy a Coke

This is above and beyond, and I note it because it breaks through the fourth wall that bands may have when they perform. Perhaps they sometimes want that distance, where they are the “artist,” and across a chasm is the “listener,” to whom they don’t have to explain themselves or their work to.

But in this situation, when they ended the set, they waved the one guy over and bought him a Coke, removing the distance between the artist and the audience. The band said, “We bought him a Coke because we were thankful that he stuck around.”

I love that focus on gratitude and connection. Here is the band buying something for the audience. Amazing.

Moment #5: Playing an Encore

In retrospect, the band laughed at the fact that they played an encore to this one guy, saying, “An encore is supposed to be when they demand to have you back!” In this situation, they were playing to one moderately interested guy. Yet, they overdelivered. They wanted the night and the experience to feel complete.

As an epilogue to their story, after their huge success in the 1970s and early 1980s, they said: “About fifteen years later we played at the Summit in Houston and we got a note backstage and it was from this guy. This time we had him backstage.”

Showing Up is a Power We Each Have

As I consider this one hour in 1969, I think of this in two ways:

• We each have the power to show up for others. To be that one person in the audience.
• But also, we have the power to choose to share our best work for each person who may be interested.

We often first write for one single person: ourselves. To me, showing up for one additional person is a natural extension of this.

Now, I’m not naive. I understand that if someone takes the effort to publish their work, that they hope that it means they can reach people at scale. That their newsletter or essay or book finds people easily, without repeated effort. That instead of reaching just one person, that you reach 100, or 1,000, or 100,000.

This is part of why I like using the example of musicians so often in my newsletter. Because while they publish their music in a similar way as a writer publishes a book, there is also a longstanding tradition of building an audience one show and one person at a time.

This is not to say that as a writer, you have to “perform.” Rather it is a reminder that while there are inspiring stories of writers going viral, and their books naturally finding a large audience, that isn’t always the norm.

When you approach how you share as a craft, we demystify what it truly looks like to connect with a reader.

“No one showed up”

Nowadays, sharing that “no one showed up” can actually have positive outcomes. I have seen many stories like this on social media. It usually has a writer or artist posting online that they planned for an event for months, but then no one showed up, and upload a photo of the empty room, often including the prepared activities they had created.

In the past I’ve shared about an amazing experience from Stacy McAnulty where no one showed up… but then at the last minute, one fan did. Like ZZ Top, she actually ended up buying her fan a book:

The other day I saw a story on Threads where an author/artist shared this:

This resonated with a lot of people, and in just a day or two, 150 people signed up to a brand new “Virtual Poetry Club” that she is hosting.

These are incredible illustrations of the power of sharing our experiences. Doing so adds an emotional thrust that can motivate people to get involved in a manner they would not have before.

Good storytelling is often central to good marketing. If you ever feel like you are alone in your creative journey, and that your efforts are falling short, please remember that sharing your unique creative voice is one of the greatest assets you have to reaching your readers.

Please let me know in the comments: would you write to just one reader? Whether that is a Substack, an essay, or a book? Why or why not?

For my paid subscribers this week, I shared mini-case study on what a 7-ELEVEN employee teaches us about sharing with authenticity. See a preview here.

Reminder: if you want to explore working with me, there are two ways I collaborate with writers and creators:

• One-on-one consulting
• My Creative Shift Mastermind, whose doors open up again in April

As always, thank you for being here with me.
-Dan

Years ago I used to do a lot of speaking at writing conferences. Many of these events would include a version of a “pitch slam,” where writers could sign up for an opportunity to pitch their book to a literary agent. Below are some photos I took of one in 2011. This first one is the crowd of writers waiting to be let in to meet with agents:

When the doors are opened, everyone rushed in:

Then they would wait on line for their turn to meet with the literary agent of their choice, they had 90 seconds to pitch:

Something about this always surprised me. For many of these authors, they had signed up to spend a lot of money on the conference ticket, hotel rooms, travel, and meals. They took time away from work and family. Yet, in the hours before the pitch slam, I would see writer after writer standing in a hall, practicing their pitches. For many, it seemed like this was the first time they were saying these words aloud, and they were workshopping various ideas to themselves, scribbling notes. I talked to a lot of writers at these events, and when I asked about their writing, they would often demure, sometimes saying that they have no idea how to describe their work.

In working with writers for decades, I have found that one of the scariest things you can say to a writer is this:

“So, tell me about your writing…”

Of course, in some ways, writers dream of this: to have someone express interest in their creative work. But that question can be scary because it feels impossible to sum up all of the things one’s writing involves into a single sentence or two.

Today, I want to encourage you to learn how to talk about your writing — what you write and why — in a manner that feels accessible and natural. Where you can do this easily in a wide range of situations: in conversation with a neighbor who walked past as you are mowing the lawn, with a coworker you bump into in the lunchroom at work, with your aunt at a family reunion, and yes, in that famous “elevator pitch” for all those times that you get in an elevator, and the literary agent of your dreams happens to get in after you and they strike up a conversation.

Why learn to talk about what you write and why in an effortless manner? Sooooooo many reasons. For starters, it helps you take specific actions with clarity and confidence:

• How to write your one-line bio on social media.
• How to write a long bio on your website.
• How to write a mid-length bio when you speak at a literary festival or are a guest on a podcast.
• How to come up with a title and description for your email newsletter.
• Knowing what to share online.
• Knowing what to say in your pitch to an agent.
• How to frame how you launch and market your books and writing.
• How to describe your work to friends, colleagues, and that time you bump into your favorite writer in an unexpected place.
• How to pitch yourself as a podcast guest.
• What to say on your website.
• How to have those around you take your aspirations seriously, and be someone who they know you as “a writer,” because you talk about writing in such a wonderful and clear manner.
• How to be ready for serendipity because you told someone about your writing who you had no idea was best friends with your favorite podcaster, and will tell them about your work, and they will slot you in as a guest on their show.
• You will no longer fear that you don’t know how to talk about your work, your identity as a writer, and your aspirations and dreams for sharing your unique creative voice.

If you don’t learn how to talk about what you create and why, all of the other publishing hacks/tricks/trends that you spend hours researching have little to be based on. Your author platform (or author brand) is not how many followers you have. Instead it is based on two things:

1. How clearly you can communicate what you write and why.
2. How you develop a sense of trust and connection with others in the process.

Why learn Bluesky or Reels or Substack or anything else if you have no idea how to adequately talk about what drives you as a writer? None of this is meant to sound judgmental, rather, I want to encourage you to do the difficult work of knowing how to talk about your writing in a way that feels natural and accessible.

Okay, let’s dig in…

Get Your Key Messages Locked In

To learn how to truly communicate what you create and why, develop what I call your Key Messages. These are 3-10 statements that describe themes you write about. It’s different from an elevator pitch, because it is meant to be conversational in everyday situations. This is the foundation for what you share publicly, and how you become known as a writer.

Don’t be vague here. Why? Because that is the surest way for people to not really understand what you write, and in the process, not really caring. So when you describe your work in the vaguest possible ways: “I love a good story,” or “I want my stories to entertain,” or “I write stories that keep people turning pages,” or “I write lyrical prose,” that gives people very little to go on.

My advice? Allow your enthusiasm for what you write and why to be infectious. Box yourself in to the things you care most about. Sometimes we are vague because we justify it will attract the widest possible audience. Instead, I encourage you to focus on drawing people to your unique creative voice.

When you come up with your Key Messages, stress test them in real conversations over and over again. Notice where the conversation does and doesn’t go, and how people react. Don’t just rely on the same phrases you came up with years go that sound clever. Evolve your messaging based on what truly engages people. Too often, someone will settle into a description of their writing that makes them feel good, but does nothing to engage readers. So, they get stuck in a loop certain that they just aren’t finding the right people.

Developing your Key Messages is a craft that takes time. And I find that when people avoid this work, they also avoid having conversations about what they write and why. You can start by brainstorming ideas to finish this sentence:

“My writing explores ________. I am curious about this because ________.”

Consider questions such as:

• What drives you as a writer?
• What themes do you love exploring in your work?
• What inspires you, and may even inspire your reader or audience?

Sometimes the answers to these questions are missing from how a writer typically describes their work or themselves. Instead they focus on commonly understood categories and roles, which can help explain what shelf to find their book on in a store, but doesn’t truly communicate what they love writing and why.

Instead, focus on the beliefs and narratives that fuels your writing,

As you consider how to talk about your work, don’t get wrapped up in whether or not you feel you have adequate credentials. Too many people stop at this point because they say things like, “Oh I want to write historical fiction, but I’m not a historian.” Or “I want to write literary fiction, but I don’t have an MFA,” or “I want to write about my experience caregiving for my mother, but I’m not really an expert.” Or “I want to write about parenting, but I’m not a doctor.”

But what about if, instead, you used phrases such as:

“I believe…”

“I’m curious about…”

“I explore…”

Start there. When I work one-on-one with a writer, we delve much deeper into the process of crafting Key Messages. But it feels like the foundation for everything else that follows. In this essay, I talked about the marketing funnel for finding one’s readers, selling books, and creating loyal fans. That entire marketing strategy begins with Key Messages.

Forget About Balance

If you want people to see your identity in a certain way — as a writer, for instance — I encourage you to double down on it. Forget about the idea of “balance,” where everyone has to see you as a long list of socially acceptable things first: a father, a brother, an accountant, a Boston native, a member of the PTA, a Yorkie-dad, a golfer, a Red Sox fan, a graduate of _____ college, etc.

I’ll talk with people who tell me that their biggest dream is to become a writer, and when I look at how they describe themselves online, that identity comes dead last in the list.

If you want to be known as a writer, the first step of course is to write. Then, talk about what you write and why. Put this identity first. Now, I can already hear some of you thinking, “Oh Dan, I don’t want to be that person. The one who won’t shut up about their writing.”

Of course, I don’t want you to be annoying. Instead consider someone who you have met who talks about their creative work and passion in a manner that is natural and engaging. Where you can feel their energy and find it infectious. Maybe it’s your yoga instructor, or a bookstore owner you know, or an actor you once met, a well known author you met at a signing, etc.

In doing so, you are helping to create the conversations and experiences that truly matter, not just to you, but to those you connect with.

When I met Brené Brown, do you think she felt it would be annoying to talk about her research and writing? Of course not, she knows how to have that conversation with a sense of empathy and connection. Why? Because she’s practiced this thousands of times.

Double down on your unique creative voice — go all in. Become that person who those around you say, “Oh, she’s a writer. So passionate about _____ topic, you have to meet her.”

Become obsessed with creating the moments and experiences that inspire you as a writer and how you can connect your vision with others.

Why Should You Share Right Now?

In a recent newsletter, I started it with a list of justifications that writers sometimes make for not creating and sharing, and included this one:

“There is so much going on in the world. Who wants to hear about me and my book? It would be insensitive of me to even share about it now.”

I’ve heard this in many ways in a wide variety of situations. One of my most closely held beliefs that drives my work is: you have a unique creative voice, and the world is a better place when you share it. (Read more about this here and here.)

Your voice is what the world needs. The one you share with intention. That is focused on what you create and why. Not as a negative distraction, but as the respite and inspiration that someone needs today.

No, you are not being insensitive if you share. We are each many things and need many things. Our lives, our days, our hours are multifaceted. It is entirely possible to be in mourning, and also need joy. To be angry, but also want connection. To hold more than one idea in our heads at once. To be on more than one journey at a time. To be for something bigger than ourselves, while also still honoring and celebrating our inner needs.

What if what you share is what gives someone joy or the hope they needed in an otherwise difficult day?

Please let me know in the comments: do you feel it is easy to talk about your writing, or difficult? And if you are brave, tell me: what do you write and why?

For my paid subscribers this week, I shared mini-case study on what Cher teaches us about creative success. See a preview here.

Reminder: if you want to explore working with me, there are two ways I collaborate with writers and creators:

1. One-on-one consulting
2. My Creative Shift Mastermind, whose doors open up again in April

As always, thank you for being here with me.
-Dan

In the past few months, my 14-year-old son has launched three social media channels online, posting videos every single day. He now has 60,000 followers altogether, and what he shares gets tens of thousands of views a day, and hundreds of comments. Today I want to talk about what he did, why it’s working, and what we can learn from it about sharing online.

I’m going to be a little vague about details because I want to allow him to be mostly anonymous online if he wants to be. He has given me permission to share everything, but I’m going to be cautious and not share links to his channels.

Okay, here is the short version:

• 3 months ago he created a channel on YouTube on a specific topic, and has been sharing a daily video ever since. It took off immediately, and he now has 28,000 subscribers there. Each video receives between 5,000-10,000 views on average, and 100 comments.
• 2 weeks ago he started an unrelated Instagram account where he began sharing videos featuring two famous cartoon characters talking about a specific topic. Overnight he had 3,000 followers, and now has more than 30,000.
• About a week ago he created another Instagram account featuring the same characters discussing a completely different topic. That channel now has more than 3,500 followers. He has posted two videos so far, each with more than 170,000 views, 10,000 likes, and hundreds of comments.

In the comments, people make suggestions, share reactions, and give feedback constantly. For each of these channels, he started with no following, and simply told a few friends who don’t have a big following online.

Every day I help writers and creators learn how to share their creative work in a way that is meaningful and authentic, and to truly develop a platform of fans around them. I’ll try to share lessons and advice throughout this post that may be helpful.

This is my son editing a video:

I want to start off by addressing the biggest elephants in the room when it comes to discussions like this. Okay, let’s dig in…

How did he get so many followers so quickly?

So how on earth did he get such fast growth on each channel so quickly? Well, quite a number of decisions he made led to this:

• He aligned to a trend or vibrant community. For his YouTube channel, the daily videos focus on a topic that has a huge following there. This community shows up on YouTube. For his Instagram accounts, he is started the channel just after a trend began with a specific format of conversation between those two cartoon characters. He chose a topic of interest that no one else had been using, and went from there.
• He used media formats that truly reach new people: Reels and Shorts. So many people still think of Instagram as it was in 2016, primarily focused on square images. Or they think of YouTube from the same year, which was all about the typical horizontally oriented videos. But if you want to grow on either platform, you have to focus on vertical videos: Shorts on YouTube, and Reels on Instagram. That is what each platform promotes. He has put all of his energy there.
• He posts frequently and consistently. This is classic “how to succeed online” advice for years now, and he is following it. For his YouTube channel, he posts every single day. That means he is not only evolving his craft more quickly, but he has 100 videos in the algorithm already, and for his actual fans, they look forward to seeing his videos each day. Plenty of them leave comments saying things such as “I was here on day 1!”
• He produces high quality videos. This has been the most fascinating aspect to watch: how hard he works on his videos, how he improves over time, and how he is proactive about changing things and trying new ideas. When I talk with him about why he thinks he’s succeeding, he always talks about craft first.
• He creates content that encourages reactions and engagement. For years, I have talked about this for writers, with the advice to “leave room for the reader.” Meaning, consider allowing space where people can easily comment or engage. What he posts gets lots of comments, each YouTube video gets more than 100 comments. The first video on his new Instagram channel has more than 400 comments. He creates videos that ask for audience feedback, or shares a viewpoint that will naturally have people siding one way or another.

For the most part, these are editorial and marketing strategies that have worked well for decades online, but also work offline. For instance, if someone wanted to open up an independent cafe that had a stage for music and poetry readings, they would align to each of these tactics: rent a storefront in a vibrant community, serve beverages and food that people already want, have frequent specials and events, have coffee so good that people talk about it, and train your staff to be personable and encourage engagement with customers.

I imagine, some of you may see this list and think, “That is too many things to become good at, I’m a writer, not a marketer.” Yet, if you were to hold a book reading, I imagine you would employ every single one of these tactics and not even realize it. I’m not trying to give you more work, I’m considering how sharing and connection is a very accessible craft open to all of us.

This may encourage you to challenge some assumptions you have. For instance, some writers want to launch an email newsletter, but strongly feel that sending one every quarter is best. They justify “I don’t want to bother people, I don’t have that much news to share, and besides, no one loves email.” Yet, many of the most successful newsletters out there post weekly or multiple times per week. I mean, I’ve sent out an email newsletter every single week for 20 years.

As you approach sharing online, consider a series of small actions you can take to help you get better at the craft of sharing, improving your chances of reaching your ideal audience.

Is he good at this because he grew up on screens?

I assume that plenty of people will read this and think, “Well kids nowadays grow up on screens, navigating the online world is in their blood. That’s why he is so successful.” But the thing is, my son didn’t grow up on screens.

He never used an iPad or iPhone when he was young. He didn’t have access to a computer, and I was pretty annoyed when his school gave him a laptop in the first grade. We delayed TV for years, and when we did allow him to watch a show, it was highly curated and very closely monitored. Most of the kids he knew had a phone long before he did.

As best we could, we tried to focus on real-life experiences and tactile objects for most of his childhood. Did we loosen this up as he got older? Absolutely. We want him to fit in, and there are amazing ways that technology allows him to connect with friends and learn new things. Nowadays, he’s on screens all the time. The difference is that he is now mature enough that I can have deep and honest conversations with him about it all.

I feel his efforts, his intentions, his skills have been a core part of this, and that is largely open to most people. And honestly, some of my favorite channels online are people who started them in their 50s or later.

He doesn’t appear in the videos, so he’s not performing, and you don’t even hear his voice. He uses AI voice over, and either films the images or creates them in video and photo editing programs. Let’s dig into his craft…

Developing his craft

What my son really seems to care about most is creating really good videos and improving his skills. I watch him working on videos, utilizing multiple programs to create them, from a video editor, a voice over creator, AI tools, graphics programs, and more. Around the holidays, I bought him some lights, tripods, and other equipment to give him more options for filming.

I’ve seen him work on his scripts, creating different thumbnails for videos, logos, cover images, and more, constantly testing and improving.

On the marketing side, I’ve really enjoyed seeing his awareness of what engages people online. Awhile back I noticed a typo in the headline of one of his videos, and told him so. A big smile came across his face, and he said, “I know. It’s helping the video. People get so angry in the comments.” I asked if that means he gets more comments, and that in turn, helps the video in the algorithm? He replied, “Yes!”

Throughout this process, he definitely seems to have a big sense of humor, and is just enjoying some of the silliness of it all. But he’s serious with his craft. He has worked all of this into his routine, going to school, running track, coming home and eating dinner, making a video or two, then getting to homework.

It’s been amazing for me to see him integrate this into his life in such a natural way. Yesterday he uploaded three brand new videos, all amidst an otherwise busy day.

What can we learn from this?

I assume that if you are reading this, you are a writer or artist, not someone who wants to make videos every day. So what can we learn from this? Some things I’m considering:

• Start with passion. Share because you feel your work matters to you, and will matter to others. Don’t just do the minimum, or copy the same expected best practices as everyone else. Channel your passion for a topic into how you share about your work.
• Approach sharing as a craft, not as some task you want to do as quickly as possible, then run away. This should be a process of discovery and connection, helping you to understand how to share in a manner that feels natural, and truly moves people.
• You have not missed the boat. I talk with so many writers and creators who bemoan that they missed the boat for growing their platforms online. They justify the marketplace is now to crowded, or that someone can only grow a following from scratch on Instagram back in 2016, etc. I not only look at the metrics of my son growing a following quickly, but the fact that he is truly having fun doing it.

Please let me know in the comments: do you think it is easier to reach people nowadays, and develop a following, or more difficult? Why?

For my paid subscribers this week, I shared mini-case study: curiosity can be your platform. See a preview here.

Reminder: if you want to explore working with me, there are two ways I collaborate with writers and creators:

• One-on-one consulting
• My Creative Shift Mastermind, whose doors open up again in April

As always, thank you for being here with me.
-Dan