Category: Personal Growth

What is the one thing you can do to jumpstart your career? Get a mentor.

This holds true for writers honing their craft, as it would for a mid-level manager at a publisher, as it would for a new college graduate trying to get their foot in the door in the online marketing space.

Whenever I attend a conference, there are certain words that get people’s pens moving, and fingers tapping to take notes. Words like:

• Hootsuite
• Animoto
• Tweetreach

These are tools that help us automate and more easily manage content and workflows. These are good things. I’m a big fan of them. But…

In building a successful career, it’s not what you own that matters, it’s who you know.

For many people, they get into a career rut. Meaning: they end up with a “good” position, at a “good” company, doing “good” work. I use the word “good” in quotes in order to reference the quote: “good is the enemy of great,” attributed to Voltaire and Jim Collins. That for a few years, it’s fine to be “good enough” as you get your footing in your career. But when those few years turn into a decade or two, then you often find yourself in a rut.

Going back to the conference example, it’s interesting seeing who comes up to the front of the room after a session ends to make a personal connection with a speaker or panelist. Who asks a question, shares feedback, gives their card or asks for one in return. And more importantly: who follows up a few days or weeks later. Who takes the seed of a mentoring relationship and helps it grow. That the highest value in attending a conference is not hearing the word “animoto” and discovering a new tool, but in having an insightful conversation with someone in the hallway between sessions.

Recently I wrote about how people have a greater return on investment than technology. If you are looking to break out of a rut in your career; if you are trying to do something great, but stuck in the middle of “blah,” then consider how you encourage mentoring relationships in your life.

Oftentimes these aren’t formal. You never ask: “Will you be my mentor?” No one ever says: “Luke, I am your mentor.”

What does a mentor provide, even when they aren’t aware of it? Quite a lot:

• They inspire you
• They provide real-world experience and wisdom, not just textbook advice
• They hold you accountable
• They push you past boundaries
• They believe in you

That last one is critical. Too often, those around us see us defined by existing roles. They have a very hard time imagining that you could do something radically different. But a mentor believes in your potential, not just your current identity. They see what you could be, not just how you are defined today.

How does a relationship like this work? I can only tell you how it works for me…

I am endlessly fortunate to have several people in my life that I consider mentors. These are people who are very giving of their time to help me frame what I need to do in order to grow. For the 4th quarter of this year, I am doing a deep dive into what We Grow Media needs to become in 2012 and beyond. The process has not been driven by a project plan – a spreadsheet – but rather by conversations with mentors. Those who push me, who teach me, who help me explore.

These are the steps that I took:

• Identify those who I am somehow connected to that inspire me.
• Be clear about my goals and that I could benefit from their experience.
• Setup a loose but frequent schedule of speaking together. Sometimes this is over dinner, other times virtually over Skype. 2-4 times per month seems to be a good schedule.
• Take notes when they provide insightful ideas.
• Illustrate to that person that their words/ideas/inspiration lead to direct action in your life. You aren’t spinning their wheels.
• Give back as much as possible. Sometimes this is as basic as paying for dinner; It is a heartfelt thank you; Or recommending them to others.

One last benefit of mentors: helping to manage the emotional side of growth. Inherently, growth requires you go through challenges, that you confront core issues of identity, process, and make very hard choices that have ramifications in your personal life, not just your professional life. This is not easy. I don’t think I have talked to a single writer or entrepreneur who didn’t have ups and downs in trying to grow their career – to build a legacy for their work. This is normal.

When you have a mentor to work with, they help ground you. They make you feel less like you have taken a crazy leap off a cliff into an endless hole, and more like you are building something of value. That you are on a hero’s journey.

And of course, look for opportunities to be a mentor to others. To give back to those who can most use your experience and wisdom. This week I visited a school in Harlem that I have been working with since 2003. I am an advisor to their newspaper staff, and in the photo below, you can see kids making their case as to why THEY should be Chief Editor of the paper:

Will I end up as a mentor to any of these kids? I have no idea. In the end, you rarely know who it is you effected in a positive way. Whether or not I help one of these students is not just in what I say, but in simply showing up. In taking the time to be present in their lives, in encouraging them to push past boundaries, to imagine what they can achieve.

And of course, let me know if there is any way I can be of assistance to you. Have a great day.
-Dan

I work with a lot of individuals who are trying to grow their writing career, transform their identity and build a legacy. Recently, I have been considering barriers to writers achieving those things, and WHO in their lives either helps or hinders these accomplishments. Today I want to discuss the power that others have in you achieving your dreams.

We are each surrounded by people who keep us grounded in the present. In the now. In what already is, not what could be. For those of you who are trying to reinvent yourself, to follow your long-forgotten dreams, to achieve something exceptional, these relationships can be difficult. These people who surround you, they can sometimes work very hard to keep you defined as you are. As you were. Rarely as what you could be.

You see, these people have already defined you. They have categorized you, filtered you, labeled you. They have made you “safe” to their worldview. They do not want you to change, because it challenges them in ways you don’t intend. When your identity changes, it forces others to reassess how you fit in their world. It forces them to reassess their own identity. This does not sit well with many people, because most people don’t like change.

To keep us all boxed in, these people obsess over the details of the everyday. Over keeping the status quo. Over encouraging a sense of being overwhelmed by the now. The email, the laundry, the meetings. They encourage a sense of just getting by. That we are all just lucky to have a job. That it’s better to stay where we are. Who we are. Where we know it is “safe.”

Pardon my language, but this is bullsh*t.

These people perpetuate a feeling of always being behind. Always trying to catch up. That there is never enough time. That they would stretch themselves, spread their wings, if only…. there was more time. If only… this project wasn’t on deadline. If only… they had more money.

This too is bullsh*t.

These people focus on the wrong things: the tasks, the tactics, the immediate, the stuff, the things.

So if you are trying to achieve a dream. One that pushed you past boundaries. One that breaks the carefully defined ways that people see your identity. Then you need to surround yourself with a different type of person.

Those whose attitude enables action, not inaction. A person who sees the future, and not just the past. Who is building what does not yet exist, what is not yet proven, what is not yet cool, what is not yet safe. Someone more interested in capabilities than definitions. Someone with vision – who creates enough free space to allow wings to spread.

This is why great companies don’t just hire for skills, they hire for attitude. Those who are motivated, aligned to your purpose and style, who will grow, who will deliver greater than 100% of potential value. Who will spread their passion and encourage others.

Not those who take. Who demand. Who push against in negative ways. Those who suck the motivation out of others. Suck more energy than they give.

For your goals, you need to build a foundation for conversations that are strategic and forward thinking. That paints a picture of what could be, and then plans the steps to get there.

On a personal level, I have seen this done in a few ways in my life recently. Past students of my author platform courses have asked for ways to stay connected, so I created a mastermind group for us to connect each week. This serves three functions for a group of individuals trying to reinvent themselves and create a powerful body of work:

• Accountability.
• A roundtable of like-minds that can help brainstorm ideas to work through challenges.
• A support group for the emotional ups and downs that are pervasive in the process of creation.

For myself, I am beyond lucky to be friends with so many talented, visionary, and giving individuals. Those who help me look ahead, laying a solid foundation for the future of my business at We Grow Media, and my life overall.

And it should not go unmentioned, the most important person who is responsible for my own success: my wife. Without her support for me leaving the safe corporate world, leaving a six-figure salary a month before we had our first child, for taking risks to establish We Grow Media – without her – none of this would be possible. She is giving me the space I need to challenge what is, and enough runway to create what I feel needs to be.

For the body of work you are building, the identity you are shaping, the legacy you are creating, are you building this foundation of support with those around you?

Many writers have told me how those closest to them offer the biggest challenges to growth. In these cases, their friends and family seem to have the least to gain by you changing. They see you as one thing: accountant, wife, husband, provider, caregiver, athlete, etc. Changing that means breaking patterns that have developed for years. It means expanding their definition of you. It sometimes means a direct challenge to how they have crafted their own world. That by you changing, it means a direct effect on them, on how you support them now, and a potential risk that with your role changing, your level of support will change.

These close relationships are, of course, very personal and complicated things. I cannot assume how your moving through a transition would or wouldn’t effect the attitude of your friends and family. But I can say that when you are pursuing a change to your identity, building a body of work, and growing your legacy, you need to connect with like-minds to push past boundaries. These may be new conversations with people you already know, or forging new relationships with those as visionary as you are. This means becoming a part of, or helping to establish, a community where others help you become who you need to be, and you help others with their own goals.

Recently, I was introduced to the lobby of the Ace Hotel in New York City by a friend. This is a place where creatives and entrepreneurs of all types seem to grab a space and work feverishly off of free wifi and good coffee. There is an energy in that lobby of people doing something they are passionate about. I have been considering the effect of working surrounded by that energy vs working in a gray office cube. Of working near others who are building vs working alone in a room.

Oftentimes, who you surround yourself with does effect who you can become.

One final note: with all this talk of what could be, I do want to give proper credit to the value of what was, and what is. I agree with Gary Vaynerchuck that we seem to live in a culture where we don’t appreciate the wisdom of our elders as much as we should. We tend to be too drawn to the new and shiny, the young and beautiful, the bold idea from the brash individual.

When I look to the future, it is always with an appreciation of what we can learn from the past (both good and bad), and a respect for the wisdom of those who have gone before me. And with everything that we build – it must be with a focus on building a legacy and value that lasts beyond our own lifetime.

-Dan

One thing about running your own business is this: you are always having to look ahead, and prepare to build the road you want to travel down. This is really no different from the life of writers who are hoping to build a thriving career, or any other field where part of what you do requires an entrepreneurial spirit.

For me, I am finding room in the next two and a half months to do major planning for 2012. Reassessing, optimizing, opening new doors, and being very careful about putting my resources where there is maximum return on investment. This ROI is not just based on revenue, but on what gets my heart going – who are those I LOVE working with, and what are the projects that inspire me to no end. Those are the activities that will inevitably produce the highest return on investment, not just for me, but for others – those in the writing and publishing community. Why? Because the motivation and the result is about creating, about expanding, not about coveting and taking.

To do this, I am carving out the first two work hours of every day to work on strategic planning for 2012 and beyond. I am careful about where I am putting my creative energy. When I worked in a corporate environment, I remember many people spend their work days constantly “putting out fires” – dealing with the activities that are screaming for attention at that very moment. They start their day with email, and are a slave to it. While there is value in that, the problem is that it rarely allows for you to plan ahead in a strategic manner. Something is always on fire. The long-term result is a career built on reaction, not directed strategic action. And the sum of the parts – of reacting to all of those fires – might not add up to the career one hoped to have.

Many people wake up one day, reflecting on their career, and think, “How did I get here?” It reminds me of that classic Monster.com commercial, where little kids talk about their desire to work dead end jobs:

“When I grow up, I want to file all day.”
“When I grow up, I want to climb my way up to middle management.”
“When I grow up, I want to be replaced on a whim.”
“When I grow up, I want to be forced into early retirement.”

That last one reminds me of a news item I read yesterday from The New York Times:

“We are announcing today a limited buyout opportunity to newsroom volunteers.”

I thought that was a well-crafted sentence, a great spin on what is really happening. I think most people realize: that a one-time “buyout” check is not the same as a thriving career in a world-class news organization.

So these are some of the things I am thinking about, looking ahead at who I can work with, and what we can create. I’ll share news of my plans for 2012 as everything comes together. In the meantime, here are some upcoming speaking events I am really excited to be a part of!

• Self-Publishing Book Expo panel: “Building an Audience,” 10/22/11
  Most authors are so focused on their writing that they don’t devote the time it takes to properly develop an audience. After their books are published, authors suddenly find themselves faced with the challenge of building a platform to market and sell their books. Learning how to strengthen your relationships, network with key members of your communities, identify the right media to approach, and develop a strong presence in your area of expertise, is essential knowledge for all authors. Find out who can help you the most and how to reach them, from this outstanding group of panelists with a wide variety of experience in online book promotion, publicity, and marketing.

• Publishing Business Virtual Expo panel: “Monetizing Apps: The Why, How and What You Need to Know to Profit From This Rapidly Growing Market” 10/27/11
  A panel of experts will share insights with you on what’s working in apps and which apps are successfully bringing in revenue. You’ll learn about different options for sponsored apps, free apps vs. paid apps (and subscription models/challenges), sales methods, what marketers want, and more.

• Folio: Show: “The New Content-Creation Paradigm: Blending Production, Audience and Content” 11/1/11
  For many brands, a prolific digital newsroom is the gateway to audience growth. In fact the two—content and audience development—are entwined. Join us in this session to learn how to not only staff and organize your online content team, but support it with the metrics and analysis needed to optimize content for the biggest possible audience.

• Writer’s Digest Conference
  Becoming an Author Entrepreneur: The Business of Being a Writer and Building Your Platform 1/21/12
  To build a career as an author, you have to have an entrepreneurial spirit – you must take charge of connecting with your audience, grow your platform, share your work, encourage sales and earn revenue. This session is for writers with creative vision who also need the business backbone to support their career.

  Panel: Hardcore Author Marketing – What to Do to Rise Above in the Digital Age 1/22/12
  You’ve heard it a hundred times by now: writers have to be marketers, too. They have to have a platform to succeed. And with more and more writers finally coming to terms with these new requirements, the fight for attention becomes even more important. Before, you had to stand out in a relatively quiet room. Now everyone is yelling and screaming for attention. In that environment, what actions make the difference? What really sets you apart, gets your work noticed and drives your sales? Enough with theories, advice and supposition—here is where you’ll learn exactly what can get you ahead of the literary pack.

• Digital Book World: “Measuring Content Strategy ROI: What, Why and How to Present It” 1/23/12
  With digital books and media, we now have an incredible amount of data at our disposal. And yet, many organizations lack the ability to effectively understand what is working, and more importantly: WHY. This workshop presents effective strategies and tactics to determine the return on investment of your content strategy, and how to use analytics proactively to lead to action that moves your business forward.

• Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCWBI) – I’ll be speaking at a chapter event. Feb 2012
  The SCBWI acts as a network for the exchange of knowledge between writers, illustrators, editors, publishers, agents, librarians, educators, booksellers and others involved with literature for young people.

-Dan

Today I want to talk about the effect that we each have on the world. The legacy you are building.

As I read Tweet after Tweet from people talking about Steve Jobs, the message was clear to me as to his effect: he has challenged people to accomplish more in their lives. That may not have been his intention, but that was his effect:

Now, you don’t have to create some technological revolution in order to have a profound legacy. Most likely, your legacy will be in the hearts and minds of those you know, those who surround you each and every day. It will be small, almost unspoken things. A ripple effect through the world, through generations. Long after you are gone, your legacy lives on in tiny actions and thoughts.

I work with writers, so I am constantly thinking about the power and effect of words. Sometimes I think about this in terms of the legacy of the written work of writers, other times in words we speak every day. And in this process, I have been considering a few words someone once said to me, words that have had a profound effect on my life. It starts with this…

This is the first book I ever made:

I was 17. It was my response to some project in my creative writing class, where we had to package together a few pieces of writing into a complete work (or something like that.) I went WAY overboard. I took dozens of photographs, wrote an original poem, with each line matching a photo, and constructed a book out of wood and sheet metal. I went to the hardware store and bought hinges and a handle.

The inside:

This book had an effect I didn’t plan, one that underscores the power of words. The most powerful result of this book wasn’t the poem within it, but from someone’s reaction to it. A guy in my class, not anyone I was really friends with, came over to my desk during class, and asked to look at the book. He slowly flipped through it, and when he was done said:

“No matter what you do in life, you will be successful.”

At the time, I sheepishly said “thanks,” and the moment passed really quickly. Just another moment in the life of a kid in high school.

But… I have thought of what he said nearly every single month since he said it. That was 20 years ago. Whenever I had moments of doubt, I thought of those words and what they meant.

And I would remember: that everything will work out just fine, as long as I put the same passion that I put into that sheet metal book, into whatever project I was currently working on. That my passion is my greatest resource.

I never told this guy what his words meant to me. In one regard, they were a few simple words, in a small forgettable moment. In another regard, those words helped fuel my entire life.

That is the power of words.

It’s easy to look at Steve Jobs or someone who had a sweeping and obvious effect on the world, and point to how they helped shape your life, how they inspired you. It’s harder to recognize the tiny little things, from the ordinary person, that has had just as big -if not bigger – effect.

This is why, when I work with writers, I never assume their goals. I never assume it’s to be a “best seller.” Because being a writer is a lifelong journey. Every writer has different goals, a different purpose, a different audience. And their effect cannot solely be measured by book sales.

In the past few years, another term has been talked about a lot to measure our individual value: “influence.” This too, is another funny measure. Why? Because we each inspire and shape the world in tiny ways. Some imperceptible even to those you “influence.” For an author, the effects of a book goes beyond the cover price, beyond the purchase. It may even go beyond the words in the book. It can stir an idea, a tone, a moment. Even a tiny movement.

I watched an incredible movie the other day: Bill Cunningham New York. It is a documentary about a photographer in New York who has spent several decades taking photos of “street fashion,” what people on the streets of New York are wearing. After thousands of shots, his conclusion:

“A lot of people have taste, but they don’t have the daring to be creative. We are in the age of cookie cutter and sameness.”

Bill is someone completely dedicated to their purpose. He would never take money from the media brands that hired him. His reason:

“If you don’t take money, they can’t tell you what to do. That’s the key to the whole thing, don’t touch money. They don’t own me. That’s the important thing, not to be owned. Money is the cheapest thing. Liberty and freedom are the most expensive.”

Does any of this sound familiar? Uncompromising vision, with a single focus? As my friend Kevin Smokler describes Steve Jobs:

“He wore the same clothes everyday, bought two giant fancy houses and never moved into them. He was worth nearly $8 billion but how many times did you read about his hot air balloon races, his antique car collections or other wild excesses? Never. There weren’t any. Mr. Jobs wanted everyone in the world to have great technology.”

I love writers because of their passion and their vision. And because words provide and unending resource for what we need most in life: Words allow you unlimited capital to invest in others.

That a simple compliment can fuel someone for decades. That one can create a world that inspires, or a doctrine that provides direction.

That there is exponential value.

The words you write and speak, will oftentimes be your legacy.

And for all that Steve has meant to each of us – total strangers – there is one photo that shows the power of his words, his being, to one individual: his wife (and vice versa, what his wife meant to him):

It was a photo taken at his last public speaking performance on June 6 by Lea Suzuki of the San Francisco Chronicle.

Maybe we each won’t change the world in sweeping dramatic ways that Steve has, resulting in a long list of patents. But we can all aspire to the image above. Effecting one person’s life in profound ways, with a power that is so great, it is immeasurable.

I will leave you with words that many others have quoted from him this week, from his 2005 Stanford University commencement address:

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.”

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

-Dan