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I have seen a lot of people sharing this New Yorker cartoon this week:

And of course, the comment to the right of cartoon showcases how much more difficult people’s actual reality is: “Just add 4 children and 3 dogs in that boat and that’s me.”

The implication of the cartoon (as I read it) is that people are dealing with so much crisis and responsibility now. Any suggestions of “since you are likely quarantined at home, now you have time to finish your novel!” miss the complexity of all that people are dealing with.

I know that many of you reading this feel that you are well past 100% in your life. That you are simply juggling too much, and have nothing left in the tank to use in order to create more or share more. I, of course, absolutely understand and respect that.

Whenever I consider this — how can someone find the ability to create something extraordinary — I always look for models of success. Real people, juggling their own complex lives.

This week I was honored to be a guest on the Write-Minded podcast, hosted by Brooke Warner and Grant Faulker. They described the episode as a “game-changing conversation about generosity, authenticity, and how to be heart-centered in how you share, engage, and promote.”

Among many other achievements, Brooke is the author of a whole bunch of books, and the publisher of She Writes Press and SparkPress. Grant Faulkner is the Executive Director of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).

It’s incredible to consider what they have each created. And on top of all of what they do, here they are producing a podcast as well.

I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Brooke for years, but had only known Grant through his reputation at NaNoWriMo. I mean, the whole idea of this is a little bit bonkers. Every November, thousands of people write a novel, start to finish, in a single month.

That is 50,000 words written in a month that includes a major holiday, along with all of the other normal responsibilities in life: family, work, home, health, travel, and of course, so many dishes and laundry.

What I love most about the idea of NaNoWriMo is that it reframes what you think 100% is. Most people would say, “Look. I work a job. I raise a family. I can find time to write 1,000 words a week. But 1,700 words per day?!? And these words have to be strung together so they create one story — one novel? That’s simply not possible.”

NaNoWriMo pushes you to reconsider what 100% can be for you and your creative work.

I was reading an interview with guitar legend Joe Satriani who talked about how in 1988, Mick Jagger gave him the break that made his career, and what Mick taught him:

“I was on my very first solo tour. We were losing lots of money, about eight grand a week playing two club shows a night. I was all but done. So I was going to scrap the tour and just go figure something else out. Then I get a call about an audition for a Mick Jagger solo tour. I end up getting the job, then BAM – all of a sudden i went from all but total obscurity into a hyper world with a red carpet in front of me at all times. It was insane.”

When asked how this helped his solo career, Joe replied:
“It was Mick. See, not only was he the total rockstar I always dreamed he would be – but he was also funny, unpredictable, incredibly cool, open, and one of the most generous people I’d ever met. He said to me, ‘my staff is your staff – use all of my resources to help promote your record while we tour. Use this private room for interviews – use these people to help you.’ Then he gave me a big solo spot in the show. He was totally selfless and completely excited to help me with MY success as a solo artist. He would tell me all the time –you’ve gotta go all the way – you’ve got to take advantage of whatever you can and most importantly, connect with the audience. I just learned so much from Mick Jagger and he really allowed me to establish myself as a solo artist.”

What was the biggest lesson Mick taught him? This:
“Being on stage with him every night, I never failed to appreciate that this is a guy who always is trying harder than all of us to make a great show for the audience. We had an 11-piece band – so if someone wanted to kick back and relax a bit, it’d be easy to cover. But then Mick would run past you, giving 100%, 100% of the time, and you’d realize, if he’s doing it, we all have to do it. He would drag me into the spotlight with him so different parts of the audience could really see me. He loves his audience so much, and is so focused on pleasing them – that’s what I think I was the important thing he taught me – appreciating those who come and see you play – and working your hardest to please them.”

When I read stuff like that, I get inspired to clarify my work. To consider the people I want to reach and connect with, and meaningful ways I can do that.

But, perhaps you are reading that story and thinking. “Ugh. Why bother? I do so much already.”

This week I sat down with bestselling author Jennifer Louden to talk about her brand new book, Why Bother?: Discover the Desire for What’s Next.

In our interview, she went through her six-step process to figure out what is next for your creative work:

1. Leave behind: Examine the excuses that you’re too depressed, anxious, old, or ill, that it’s too late, that you’re not good enough. See with love what needs to be jettisoned so you can start a new story.
2. Ease in: Trust yourself to wonder, awaken self-compassionate grit, investigate habits that deaden possibility, and return again and again to the truth that you matter.
3. Settle: Find the stillness that makes everything else possible. Settling doesn’t mean being static or putting up with less than what you desire.
4. Desire: The heart of the why bother approach, the missing piece in your life. Make friends with the misunderstood quality and energy of desire, replace substitute desires, drop your diversions, and be amazed.
5. Become by doing: Follow through with gentle, devoted action that helps you stay in the gap, check your head, and become the most human version of you.
6. Be seen: Celebrate your desires in community and take refuge in belonging.

So much of what she talks about is finding the path that is customized for you. As a huge bonus, in our conversation, she also takes you behind the scenes of her book launch, and shares how she got more than 175 five-star reviews on Amazon in less than a week. She digs into what else she is doing to promote the book, discusses the biggest mistakes authors make in their book launch, and the things that surprise her most about marketing her book.

You can listen to our entire conversation here.

Your creative work matters. You get to choose if you work on it, how you do it, and the manner by which it fits into the vast complexity of your life.

Thanks.
-Dan

I’ve heard from many writers recently that they are concerned whether it is okay to share what they create. They want to be sensitive to not come off as too “self-promotional” at a time when the world is so focused on crisis.

Today I want to explore that question so you can make that decision for yourself. Because this is a choice. And you have permission to make whatever choice feels right to you.

I want to begin with a small example of giving yourself permission to create. Several years back, Ira Glass (longtime host of the radio show This American Life), was asked about the firing of New York Times executive editor Jill Abramson. Ira’s response:

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

His answer surprised the interviewer, who said:

“It’s hard to believe that anyone in journalism or broadcasting could still not know Abramson’s name at this point, as her ousting was made very public and has been covered extensively by media outlets.”

Why didn’t Ira know who she was or the big headlines about what was going on at the Times? He put it this way:

“I live in my own little bubble. I live in my own little world and we’re putting together a show that we’re putting up at the Brooklyn Academy of Music; I was rewriting the thing here at the Peabody’s that I’m doing today and we are doing a radio show, so it has been pretty busy. I’m so sorry that was either the worst possible quote or a possibly useful quote. Am I, like, the only person in New York who hasn’t heard this?”

What Ira shared is a reminder that we get to choose where we put our attention. Where we focus our work. To me what was most surprising about his answer was that he was so comfortable in stating his ignorance of the news story.

This is what so many of us need in order to create and share the work that matters most to us. To not have to apologize for where we do — or don’t — put our attention. To not feel bad that we don’t know something that everyone else seems to.

To avoid feeling out of the loop, we may convince ourselves that we have to stay on top of everything. To know all the news, all the local gossip, all the sports scores, all of the movies and TV, all of the internet trends, and every detail of what’s going on in the lives of people you follow on social media. And each hour, each day, there is more and more to stay on top of.

A couple of weeks ago I was on the phone with the company who provides my internet service, and just before we got off the call, the guy went into a pitch to offer me more services.

Him: “Who is your cable TV provider?”
Me: “We don’t own a TV.”
Him: “What?! You don’t own a television set?”
Me: “Nope.”

My wife and I got rid of the one we had around 2004. I think it started as a 7-day challenge to not watch. Then 30 days. Then we simply moved it to the curb.

What that means is that:

• My attention is not constantly coping with distraction (of unending background noise of chatter and commercials.)
• My family lives in a home full of silence (and talking and music.) That gives us each space to choose our mood, our thoughts, our attention.
• My living room can be setup any way we want, not with the couch having to face some screen, thereby changing how we live to always put the most attention at a big screen.

Not having the TV is basically freedom to focus on other things. To define what we want our home to be. To create the interactions within it from a blank slate, not based on what is flickering on the screen.

(To be clear: I’m not judging anyone else who has a TV. I’m only speaking for my own personal experience — and choice — at home.)

My point is this: you get to choose where you put your attention. You get to choose what you create and how you do so. You get to choose how you share it with others.

I have spoken to a lot of people recently who worry that “now is not the time to create and share.” Or “It would be selfish of me to talk about my writing now, there are more important things going on.”

But my advice is: you get to choose. Your choice may be that you don’t want to create and share now. That you can’t create and share now. And that decision is right for you, if that is your choice.

I’ve been watching musicians choosing to release brand new work right now, even thought they can’t tour and can’t do as much traditional media to promote it:

• Fiona Apple released her first album in eight years, and she actually had to fight her record label to release it early. It was her choice to move it from a Fall 2020 release, to putting it out this week.
• Bob Dylan has been releasing the first new music in 8 years as well. The first song he surprised the world with was a 15+ minute epic. He released a second new song a couple weeks later. It’s worth noting that Dylan has been on tour since June 7, 1988. Estimates put that tour as him having played more than 3,000 shows in the 30 year period. The tour has been forced to pause, but that isn’t stopping him from creating and sharing.
• The Rolling Stones just released their first new original song in 8 years. (What is it about waiting 8 years to release new music?!) With cancelled tours, their primary way to promote it is gone, yet they felt it was important to put it out.

Too often, we think that there are these pre-requisites for how we create and share. That there needs to be this perfect setting and tools and mood and permission. But creative work can happen however — and whenever — you want it to.

I want to share an example. On my podcast I’ve interviewed author and illustrator Rebecca Green twice. She is wildly successful, and has a following of more than a quarter million people on Instagram. What do you think her creative space looks like? A big open studio? Shelves and shelves of professional tools? Amazing natural light? Nope. This is it:

To create a standing desk, she simply stacked a coffee table on top of another desk. To organize her current projects she literally just tapes them to the wall. On the floor under the desk. Lighting? A random table lamp. Her scanning station? Two inches to the right of where she paints.

When she shared this photo on Instagram, her conclusion (and advice) was: “You don’t need anything fancy to create. Throw a coffee table on a desk, hang some paintings and get to work.”

Can you create and share in a time of crisis? Only you can answer that question for yourself. But I want you to know that it is a choice that you get to make. It is not a de facto “yes” or “no.”

So much of the greatest writing and art was created in less than ideal situations. It is okay to create and share if you want to. Based on your personal mission. Your creative vision. Your personal preference. Your process. And the experiences you hope to create in the world.

Something magical happens when someone experiences writing, art, and music. A moment is created that can help them transcend the moment they are in. It can give them hope. Or a respite. It can remind them of who they are deep down. Or who they can become.

Create and share what matters most to you.

Thanks.
-Dan

Today I would like to talk about anxiety, and how that mixes with how we create and how we share.

I’ve been an artist or writer my entire life, and I’ve always been surrounded by friends who did creative work. I have found that anxiety is a common part of the what it means to write and share your work. It’s like anxiety is the Chewbacca to your Han Solo. Always there as your co-pilot.

I was talking to a friend recently who just signed with her dream literary agent. That was a huge win, and for several days she was practically floating with elation.

But that sensation was soon replaced with a new anxiety. As the agent pitched publishers, the rejection letters soon started coming in.

As a writer, with each new milestone you achieve comes the next one to worry about. I’ve seen this so many times over the years:

1. “I can’t get an agent.”
2. “I got an agent, but she can’t get a publisher to bite.”
3. “I got a publisher, but I was hoping for a bidding war and bigger advance.”
4. “My editor wants me to change a key section of my book.”
5. “I don’t like the cover the publisher chose.”
6. “My book is coming out at the wrong time of year.”
7. “I didn’t get the blurb I wanted for the cover.”
8. “The book launch party had fewer people attend than I hoped for.”
9. “I didn’t make a bestseller list.”
10. “It isn’t selling as well as I dreamed.”
11. “I didn’t get the big review and media mention I hoped for.”
12. “Amazon reviews have halted at a really low number. It’s embarrassing.”
13. “I don’t think my agent likes the next book I pitched…”

It goes on and on, and I skipped a lot of mini-anxieties along the way. Author Neil Gaiman reflected on it all this way:

“I started trying to think what the best advice I’d been given over the years was. It came from Stephen King twenty years ago, at the height of the success of Sandman. I was writing a comic that people loved and were taking seriously. King had liked Sandman and my novel with Terry Pratchett, Good Omens, and he saw the madness, the long signing lines, all that, and his advice was this: “This is really great. You should enjoy it.”

“And I didn’t. Best advice I got that I ignored. Instead I worried about it. I worried about the next deadline, the next idea, the next story. There wasn’t a moment for the next fourteen or fifteen years that I wasn’t writing something in my head, or wondering about it. I didn’t stop and look around and go, this is really fun. I wish I’d enjoyed it more. It’s been an amazing ride. But there were parts of the ride I missed, because I was too worried about things going wrong, about what came next, to enjoy the bit I was on.”

“That was the hardest lesson for me, I think: to let go and enjoy the ride, because the ride takes you to some remarkable and unexpected places.”

Too often, when an author “makes it,” that is all that we see from the outside. Them finding success. It’s tempting to boil the narrative down to “That author found a trick that worked.” Followed by the question, “What is that trick?”

When author Marlon James won the Man Booker Prize, he shared his own version of the road to success:

“[Marlon’s] first novel, John Crow’s Devil, was rejected 78 times by publishers, before it was eventually published in 2005.” Asked if he had considered giving up writing, the 44-year-old writer said: “I did give it up. I actually destroyed the manuscript [to my first novel], I even went on my friend’s computer and erased it.” He said he retrieved the text by searching in the email outbox of an old iMac computer.” (source)

78 times. Can you imagine that? I can’t, so I’m going to spell it out:

Me: “Hi, can you publish my book?”

The world:

1. No.
2. No.
3. No.
4. No.
5. No.
6. No.
7. No.
8. No.
9. No.
10. No.
11. No.
12. No.
13. No.
14. No.
15. No.
16. No.
17. No.
18. No.
19. No.
20. No.
21. No.
22. No.
23. No.
24. No.
25. No.
26. No.
27. No.
28. No.
29. No.
30. No.
31. No.
32. No.
33. No.
34. No.
35. No.
36. No.
37. No.
38. No.
39. No.
40. No.
41. No.
42. No.
43. No.
44. No.
45. No.
46. No.
47. No.
48. No.
49. No.
50. No.
51. No.
52. No.
53. No.
54. No.
55. No.
56. No.
57. No.
58. No.
59. No.
60. No.
61. No.
62. No.
63. No.
64. No.
65. No.
66. No.
67. No.
68. No.
69. No.
70. No.
71. No.
72. No.
73. No.
74. No.
75. No.
76. No.
77. No.
78. No.

And that’s just for his first novel. He wrote another a few years later. Then another, which is the one that won the Man Booker Prize.

Recently I’ve been obsessing about this 2.5 hour interview I’ve been watching with a son and his father. You see, I follow this YouTube channel from a music shop in England called Andertons. They sell guitars, drums, and other musical instruments.

Online they have 640,000 subscribers on YouTube and a total of 202,000,000 views on all of their videos. It’s just huge.

But it started as a small shop in the early 1960s with the grandfather and father. Today the grandson runs it. The interview tracked the progression of the business over nearly five decades. What jumped out at me the most was this line:

“When you are self-employed, there is a terrible inner fear — all the time — that someone is going to turn the tap off. (He snaps fingers.) That business is just going to dry up. Business will just stop. The business sucks up all your money, so you are constantly putting everything at risk.”

In the interview they talk again and again about the big risks they took. About the difficult years. About luck and opportunity. Year by year, decade by decade.

It reminded me of how many writers and artists feel. That their next idea will be there last. That they missed the boat. That the marketplace will shift away from what they write. That they can’t keep up with new online trends for how to connect their book with readers.

They may even get mad that they have to consider these things at all, thinking, “Gee, shouldn’t a writer just write?”

Yes, you can just write. In fact, I’ve always loved the idea of art for the sake of art. To create simply for the sake of creating.

But…

If you want to succeed in the marketplace, that is a decision that you make to engage with it. To publish. To share your work and hope others notice and buy and talk about it. To know that your work grows and expands when someone reads it. That something magical happens when you write, but a different kind of magic happens when someone reads it. That is where your words mix with the life experience of the reader and something entirely new is created in the process.

This week I interviewed artist Jay Alders about how he has been managing with all that is going on in the world. He works full-time as an artist, his wife runs a business as well, and they are raising a young family with three kids.

What I wanted to ask him most about was anxiety. He was incredibly honest about what he and his wife do to balance working from home, investing in their own physical and mental health, and living a life based on what they want to create. There were lots of useful tips — you can listen to our entire conversation here.

What can we all do about this to be able to create and share while managing anxiety? Watch Kelly McGonigal’s amazing TED talk called “How to make stress your friend.”

And check out her books:

• The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It
• The Joy of Movement: How exercise helps us find happiness, hope, connection, and courage

Just as I finished writing this essay, I received an email from author Jessica Lahey. When I interviewed her on my podcast, she talked about the ways she was trying to connect with Dax Shepard and how much she appreciated his podcast, Armchair Expert.

Well, after all of her efforts to connect with him, this past week she actually appeared as a guest on his podcast! You can listen to it here.

Success (however you define it) takes time. Keep creating. Keep sharing. Your work matters.

Thanks!
-Dan

Too often, writers and artists look at marketing as a necessary evil. Something that they put off doing until they absolutely have to. Since it is uncomfortable, they look for easy tricks and trends to get through it quickly.

They treat marketing their books like you would take a hot tray out of the oven… in a rush, barely grasping it, and then throwing it down to avoid injury.

But that is a surefire way to never get good at sharing your work in a meaningful way. To never have it connect with real people. To never understand how marketing really works: through deep connections between people who care.

Like me, maybe you have likely clicked on headlines like these over the years:

“The shockingly simple trick you must know to get sales on Amazon.”
“What book influencers are doing on Instagram in 2020.”
“5 tips (and 3 must avoid mistakes) of email newsletters for authors.”

But marketing is not about knowing where the secret buttons are, or some hack that only “influencers” know about.

Marketing is an inherently human activity. It happens in the way we engage; it happens between people we know and like; it happens in deep places in our hearts and minds.

This is what I delve into in my first book, Be the Gateway, and what my next book, Share Like it Matters, takes to the next level. If you want to get good at creating and sharing your work in a meaningful way, look below the surface to understand the psychology of why people take actions. What gets their attention. You have heard me talk about this in the past when I mention the idea of human-centered marketing.

Recently I was chatting about this topic with Tad Hargave. I first came to know him through his website called “Marketing for Hippies.” He works with what he calls holistic practitioners to help them get more clients and grow their business.

There are several things that have always intriqued me about the way Tad talks about marketing. One is that much earlier in his career, Tad worked for a Tony Robbins franchise. He says he learned sales from the teachings of Tony, Tom Hopkins, Brian Tracy, and Zig Zigler. Describing their methods, he says that explicit in that training is that the goal is to get the sale. If you didn’t get the sale, you failed, period. Are you cringing yet? I get it. But I always liked that he had this kind of background, because he was someone who was deep in the trenches of what I would call “high pressure sales,” and then came out the other side of it. That isn’t how Tad works now.

If you want to dive deep into the topic of psychology and marketing, listen to this one-hour chat with Tad and I on my podcast, The Creative Shift.

Here are some key takeaways:

If You Are Uncomfortable With Marketing, Do This…

If you are uncomfortable with marketing, then don’t worry about doing it. Instead, consider who else is really good at marketing you. Who is that? The people who love your work. So then your marketing activities don’t become focused on you shouting about your work, but instead, it is about you making it easy for others to share about you and your work.

Engage a Small Audience, Instead of Trying To Go Viral

Tad and I discussed the concept of filtering: ensuring the person is the right fit for your creative work. This is a really intriguing step, where you only want to sell books to people who will love it, get newsletter subscribers from people who will love hearing from you, etc. It is about embracing the idea of a smaller but more engaged audience, rather than “going viral” online.

Focus on Trust in the Process of Marketing

Lower the risk for someone about to take the next step. An example here is that as someone pulls out their credit card to sign up for one of Tad’s workshops, he pauses and asks “Are you sure?” Since trust is such a big part of this connection, pausing to ensure they aren’t taking too big of a risk on the wrong thing is critical to him. That’s not always common in marketing — where the web is littered with “one-click marketing funnels” where a stray click of a mouse gets you into someone’s email newsletter list, and a sequence of 20 emails meant to convert you from a prospect to a lead to a sale.

The One Type of Marketing That Matters More Than All Others

Tad and I talk about how word-of-mouth is the sustainable approach to marketing. Sure, it is the long-game, the one that you have to invest in over time. But it is also the one that not only feels good, but produces results. It’s the opposite of the boxed cake mix where you just add water. Instead, word-of-marketing is akin to inviting friends over to cook a meal all evening long.

What that means is that word-of-mouth marketing is about the things that humans do best: develop trust. Share. Give. Show up consistently over a long period of time. Share what we create and why in a range of meaningful ways.

The Role of Tension, Seduction, Fear of Missing Out, and Charisma in Marketing

We dig into psychological triggers in the marketing process. A common one is “fear of missing out,” (also referred to as FOMO) which is where someone is more likely to take the action to buy if they feel they will lose something if they don’t act quickly. This is why you will see countdown timers on sales pages, or you will get 3 emails in the same evening before someone’s promotion ends: 4 hours left! 1 hour left! 10 minutes left!

But you also see FOMO in common sales processes. On Amazon they may say “only 16 left in stock!” Airbnb will tell you “4 other people are looking at this property right now!” Reverb (a website where you can buy used musical instruments) tells you that “3 other people have this in their cart right now!.)

FOMO is a part of the offline sales process too. The car dealer who makes a pained face saying, “Gee, I just have one left in stock in the color you want. I actually just got a call this morning from a guy who was looking for that color too.”

Tad brought up other concepts in the marketing process, such as the role of tension or even seduction. He gives examples of someone who goes to a big event saying to themselves “I’m not going to buy what they are selling,” only to end up doing just that by the end of the day.

For many of these psychological triggers, knowing about them can allow you to use them in meaningful — ethical — ways. In ways that actually bring people closer to creative work that they will love. Likewise, knowing about them allows you to be more mindful of what you want to avoid.

A lot of what Tad and I discussed can be summed up in this question: What if marketing wasn’t about trying to convince, seduce, or persuade just anyone from buying, but about you sharing what you have with the people for whom it would be a great fit?

For the full conversation, you can listen here!

Thanks!
-Dan